


Husband and Wife

by ClaraHolsworthy



Series: two to ten years [a journey] [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Death, Gen, Marriage, Poetry, Sickness, carers, dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:05:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaraHolsworthy/pseuds/ClaraHolsworthy





	Husband and Wife

"I'm the woman," you say,  
"I'm meant to outlive him."  
  
it had not occurred to either of us  
that he could leave us like this;  
we had never once considered  
that he had the power to die.  
  
now september is lined with consultants,  
hoping for a consensus, for an easy answer  
  
meanwhile, his anger grows with your cancer.  
  
we are not a family that appreciates open endings  
two to ten years was already wringing us apart  
and now he brings further questions into our future  
\- will he recover? enough? enough to care for you?  
  
my future has begun to look very bleak.  
I have not allowed myself to consider it,  
through fear that I might pack my bags -  
for your house or for the city, I don't know  
  
"I wish I could do more," you say,  
"he needs more, and I'm - "  
  
"sick," I remind you.  
"you're both sick."  
  
we both hold back our tears like the dam to the sea  
  
in the silence, I close my eyes and rearrange the assumptions that our lives had been built upon; constructing a new road out of the rubble left behind; I build and build until the multitude of questions smother me with their growing uncertainty  
  
an estuary, I think; a passage between one state and the next;  
fluctuating, adaptable, undeniable. always leading to the sea.  
  
I exhale and let the fear take me  
close my eyes to the darkness  
and imagine you, sat at home,  
TV muted, with him beside you,  
wondering who will be the first to  
retire.


End file.
